Well, we received our economic stimulus check/direct deposit last week. But unfortunately we won’t be using it for what the economy/government had hoped for. So I wanted to share with you my apology letter to the economy:
Dear Economy (and your buddy, the Government),
How you been lately? Not real good according to all the news. You were doing so well for a while there so I guess your luck was bound to change wasn’t it? Oh well…
I wanted to thank you for sending me some money. That was really generous of you, especially considering you don’t really have much money to be passing around right now. And I guess it was my money in the first place, so there’s no harm in returning it.
But I guess you wanted to give it back to me so that I would spend it on something frivolous (on a side note, how do you like my use of the word frivolous?). Something like an exotic vacation, an upgrade in car or house, or some other unnecessary luxury item that I can live without. Again, that was really nice of you but I guess I’m a little confused why you would ask for my money in the form of taxes and then give it back to me as this “stimulus” deal and then you want me to give it back to you again, but just in a different form. Sounds a little redundant doesn’t it?
Tell you what…to prevent all these unnecessary exchanges in the future, how about I just keep all my money in the first place?! I’m just kidding, I knew you wouldn’t go for that! I’ve learned that you like my money thus you give me my own money back to give back to you. Confusing isn’t it?
The real reason I wanted to write to you was to apologize. I wanted to say I’m sorry in advance for not doing what you want me to do with my money. You see I’m going to keep it. When you think about it, I’m actually doing both of us a favor. Because in the future, if you’re ever having another down day, month, year, lengthy period of time, then I’ll have plenty of money to help you out. But if I just spend what you give me, then I’ll be back to square one and eventually so will you.
So while I know it may be hard for you to understand, I hope you don’t take it personally. It’s not you, it’s me. I still want to be friends though.
Thanks for being understanding.
Sincerely,
Grant
