Posted by Grant on June 23, 2009 – 5:43 am
I’ve watched “Jon & Kate Plus Eight” off and on for the past few years and like a lot of people, find myself intrigued by their story. I saw the season premiere this year and haven’t watched it again until last night when they announced they would be separating.
Like most viewers, I wasn’t completely surprised but at the same time, very saddened by the whole situation. Like most bummers that happen in life, there are always lessons to be learned. Here are some I gathered…
Disclaimer – I am no relationship wizard/expert/guru. I’m not perfect in any way and am not throwing stones at all. Just making observations about the situation.
- Your Attention = Where You’re Successful – Time and time again, Jon and Kate talked about how they were in all this for their kids. As a result, they are good parents with a bad marriage. You can be successful in life when you really focus on something and work at it, but you have to make sure you’re focusing on the right thing. In addition, don’t develop “tunnel vision” where one aspect of your life is incredible, but the rest of your world sucks.
- Actions Speak Louder Than Words – Don’t tell me what matters to you. Show me. If you tell me one of your top priorities is school, but you never study and you continue to blow off your classes, your words mean nothing.
- No One Is Immune – Even as recently as a year ago, Jon and Kate renewed their vows and committed to one another for life. And now here they are. There are a lot of couples and people out there that will do things you’d never expect them to do. There are couples you don’t expect to get divorced. There are individuals you don’t expect to make horrible, life-altering decisions. But we all make mistakes, and no one is immune. While I have zero intention or desire to ever split up from my wife, we’re no different than any other couple. If you ever think you’re immune or it couldn’t happen to you, you’ve got your naive head in the sand.
My personal opinion is that one of the best things I can do to be a good father to my daughters is to be a good husband to their mother. How I treat her and love her will speak volumes to my children about the kind of person their daddy is.
It’s a sad story, but I wish nothing but the best for the Gosselin family.
Posted by Grant on June 8, 2009 – 6:30 am
Filed under Family, Travels
We had a great little family getaway to Chicago over the weekend! It was a whirlwind couple of days that included enjoying famous deep-dish Chicago pizza, wandering around downtown, goofing off at Navy Pier, swimming at the hotel, and a trip to IKEA.
Then the girls dropped me off in Champaign, IL where I had the privilege to speak yesterday at an Illinois HOBY event. Really fun event, and I think all the parents in attendance even had a good time!
I’m now in Kentucky where I speak tonight for the state teen conference for 4-H and fly home tomorrow.
I love my job.
Posted by Grant on May 27, 2009 – 6:55 am
Filed under Family, Travels
Tonight I will be doing the opening keynote at the Kansas State FFA Convention to nearly 1,800 students! I love kicking off events and am excited to be a part of this one.
Then this weekend I’m speaking at an event in St. Louis for the public library system. It’s to kick off a summer teen reading program, which is cool. What I’m really stoked about though is my family is going to tag along for that trip, so we’ll go up early Friday and hang out at the Zoo!
I’ve been fortunate enough to be home for a few weeks with a few local speaking engagements here and there, but now I’m looking forward to getting back to some good events hanging with students.
Posted by Grant on May 20, 2009 – 6:14 am
I spoke last weekend at North Point and talked about the importance of “Pausing” in life.
For most people, you have a 3-day holiday weekend coming up, and it’s a great opportunity to pause in life. Memorial Day weekend is kind of the natural transition time into the summer, which I’m sure we’re all excited about.
We talked about the idea of scheduling times of “nothing” into your life. Schedule your personal time like you would any other appointment on your calendar. And then guard it religiously.
Take time to do something fun this weekend. Go for a walk. Fly a kite. Come admire the fence I built.
We all live busy, hectic lives, so we need time to recharge the batteries. This is the perfect weekend to do that.
Get your work done by Friday. It’ll still be there on Tuesday when you come back. Pause and enjoy the weekend.
Posted by Grant on May 8, 2009 – 8:29 am
Filed under Family, Personal
Just FYI…Mother’s Day is Sunday, and since most of us came from mother’s, we should probably find the one that claims us and show a little appreciation. She did push you out into the world you know? And your head was the size of a cantaloupe, so that couldn’t have been pleasant.
So in case you haven’t picked up a cheesy card, a new bathrobe, or made a Macaroni necklace to show mom what she means to you, let me offer some ideas…
1. Write a song. Bonus points if you include the phrase “Remember the time when…” followed by a story about one time you got in a ridiculous amount of trouble and she threatened your life. Hopefully the awesomeness of the song will take away the sting of your stupidity.
2. Paint a picture. With finger paint. On the wall.
3. Hug her. It must be at a completely random time when she’s not expecting it. Try to create some tears for this moment and between the sniffles whisper, “I love you mommy. Can I have $20?”
4. Make a card. Hallmark is overrated. A handmade card with glitter and sequins that smells like cologne from her 17 year-old son is something she’ll treasure.
5. Cook her a meal. It’s got to be more than a bowl of Fruity Pebbles with a glass of chocolate milk.
6. Rub her feet. Point out mystery green fungus. Capture her reaction on video. Post to YouTube.
7. Act out a play. Get some friends together and recreate your birth into the world. Especially moving if you can be covered in greasy Crisco when you emerge.
8. Tell her you love her. She’ll wonder one of a few things: 1) what did you break? 2) did you sell one of your siblings? 3) how much money do you need? or 4) did you drink too much Red Bull?
What other creative ideas do you have to show mom your loving affection?
Posted by Grant on April 24, 2009 – 6:13 am
This morning I’m driving up to a nursing home to visit my grandmother.
Unfortunately, she’s been a lifetime smoker and has never really been in the best of health. She recently found out she has lung cancer which is quickly spreading throughout her body. I’ve been keeping updated on the situation from my dad and family members and it sounds like she may have just weeks left in her life. She has even expressed that she’s ready to die and when someone her age with her health mentally checks out and gives up on the situation, it’s just a matter of time.
I’ve never been extremely close to her, but she is nonetheless my grandmother. It’s sad to see her in this condition and giving up on hope.
So this morning when I go visit her, it may be the last time I see her alive. It’s a sobering thought, and I promise you I’m trying not to depress your Friday! But I guess this question has been running through my mind…
What do you say to someone who is dying?
So often death is a sudden and unexpected event (a car wreck, heart attack, etc) but when you have the opportunity to say that final goodbye, what do you say?
Here’s what I’m going to try and do…
Share memories. Tell stories. Laugh. Look at the positive. Get our minds off the fact that this may be the last time we talk.
I don’t know that there’s a good answer to this question. You always want to say just the right thing at just the right moment…hopefully that will be the case today.
YOUR TURN: What would you say to someone who is dying?
Posted by Grant on April 16, 2009 – 8:46 am
When do you stop working? I’m not talking about when you physically clock out for the day, but rather, when do you mentally turn it off?
Here’s what got me thinking about this…as you may know, recently we moved into a new house, and I’ve been fortunate enough to have a home office in the basement. So I lock myself away for a few hours each day and get stuff done but every time I come out and see my 3 year old daughter Sydnee, she always asks me the same question…
Are you done working yet Daddy?
Of course, she just wants to play and so most of the time, I’m happy to give in to that temptation to skip work for her!
But it’s a valid question and one worth considering in your own life. Between school, work, hobbies, and extracurricular activities…when are you done working? When do you slow down to catch your breath?
Something to think about…
Posted by Grant on April 12, 2009 – 7:10 pm
Filed under Family, Personal
Three years ago today, I became a father. My oldest daughter Sydnee was born, and my life will never be the same. Being a parent is a roller coaster of emotions and feelings, but I wouldn’t trade my daughters for anything.
I love what I get to do in my work with teenagers, but I love being daddy more.
Posted by Grant on April 2, 2009 – 3:36 am
Filed under Family, Personal
March was an extremely busy month for me. My sister-in-law got married, we moved to a new house, and my speaking schedule was packed.
I figured up I was in 11 states, traveled nearly 10,000 miles, and spoke to over 9,000 people.
Glad I survived March.
But now I’m tired, and I miss my family.
Good bye March. Hello April.
Posted by Grant on March 26, 2009 – 3:11 am
Filed under Family, Personal
Today, we are officially moving into our new pad! It’s bitter sweet, because our current house is the first place Sheila and I owned together, and it’s the home that we brought both our daughters home to from the hospital.
But when you go from it being just the two of us to having 2 more little girls and trying to work from the house, it gets a little crowded!
Thankfully, we were fortunate enough to get a great deal on a beautiful house in a neighborhood we’ve been watching for several months. It gives us plenty of breathing room, but best of all, I get my home office back!
Give us a few weeks to get settled in and for travel to slow down and you can all come over for a visit.
Just call first…
