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I’m sitting in my hotel watching what has to be one of the funniest shows on TV right now: Wipeout. Admittedly, it also has to be one of the stupidest shows on TV as well. If you haven’t seen it, you’re really missing out.
Basically non-athletic people go through an obstacle course and get their butts kicked along the way.
It’s good TV…
In the last week, I figured I was on 7 different flights for my travels. And we all know that every time you get on a plane, the flight attendant has to walk through their little spiel that most people tune out. I am usually one of the people tuning out but I did catch something a flight attendant said on one of the flights. As she was explaining how to put on your oxygen mask, she said a great line. As serious as could be, she said…
“Don’t forget to breathe.”
Maybe that line is always there and I’ve just missed it but is it even possible to forget to breathe?!
I also always enjoy the instructions on how to use a seatbelt…for those who haven’t been in a car ever in their life.
A few days a month I do some seminars for business professionals on time management and organization. But before I get too deep into the day I always enjoy going around the room and having people share a little bit about themselves and what they do. And I’ve heard of some interesting jobs, but this one today took the cake…
This guy worked with a local university in the medical school and his job was to order cadavers and specific body parts for students to work on! He works with various companies who sell this stuff and his job is to sort through pictures to determine which bodies and body parts they need.
Wow…
And you thought you had a strange job…
Lately I’ve been working over at my mom’s house a lot doing my writing. It can be difficult to focus and concentrate at home with an adorable 3 foot little girl that bangs on my office door all day asking if I want to play.
But my mom’s house backs up to an elementary school playground so for several hours each day, I see the kids running around and playing. And it made me realize…
I miss recess.
There are not a ton of things I miss about elementary school but recess is definitely one of them.
How often do you experience “recess” in your life? I don’t mean that you run around outside screaming, pulling girl’s hair, and playing dodge ball so that you can embarrass fat little Grant (sorry I thought I was with my therapist for a second there).
It’s easy to be stuck indoors all the time on the computer, watching TV, or doing chores around the house, but every now and then go outside and take a recess.
You’ll be glad you did.
(I would kind of like to go out there and get in on the game of soccer they are playing today but I’m afraid I would be arrested. I would score so many goals on those kids though. It would really help my self-esteem.)
I saw this at a bathroom in the airport in Detroit and really think my wife would like this for our bathroom at home. Sorry, I couldn’t pass up a good opportunity for some easy bathroom humor…
So yesterday I walk out of the garage to get in my car to run an errand and what do I find?
A cobra, a boa constrictor, an anaconda…a really big snake!
So being the beast of a man that I am, I ran screaming into the house for my wife. Of course she is as terrified of snakes as I am, so I’m not really sure what she was going to do?!
I knew I needed to slay this evil monster but I didn’t want to get close to it so I chose my weapon carefully:
My car.
I then proceed to drive back and forth over it at least 25 times before the stupid thing would die! The entire time, my wife was standing at the front window (inside the house!) directing me while my daughter kept saying “sad worm, sad worm!”
I figured most of you wouldn’t believe me so here is what’s left of this hideous creature and the blood bath that was left behind!
Generally my wife will keep up with my blog so that I assume she can keep up with the random thoughts that swim through my head. But this week our home computer has been acting up so she hasn’t been able to read any of the blog.
So she calls me tonight to tell me about a fortune cookie she got. I found this ironic since I just posted about a fortune cookie. But what was even stranger was the saying inside her fortune cookie. It said this:
“Good clothes open many doors. Go shopping.”
Obviously this puts me in a bit of predicament. I have 2 thoughts on the situation:
I don’t know who writes these fortune cookie quotes but I bet this “shopping” one was put in there by some disgruntled wife. You can’t blame a girl for trying…
I’m sitting in the Nashville airport waiting for my flight to Atlanta and I’m watching all that the Pope is up to here in the States. So as I watch the Pope, I have a couple of questions and observations:
You can come up with some pretty random thoughts about the Pope when you’re tired…
I learned this valuable lesson when I went to speak at a high school assembly this afternoon. I was speaking just to the senior class which was supposed to be 350 students. But of course, today was April Fool’s Day and they didn’t have much reason to be there, so after lunch they all went home.
No big deal, except that my assembly was right after lunch. So instead of 350 seniors, I had 45 seniors in the assembly!
So the lesson is this: Don’t do an assembly for seniors on senior skip day.
Bad plan. Funny memory.
