Thinking Out Loud... (2)

Category Archives: Thinking Out Loud...

I’m Dying (Don’t Worry…So Are You)

Posted by Grant on November 12, 2009 – 7:00 am

Ok, first of all, sorry to anyone who read the title and thought I was actually dying. I’m not…at least not anytime soon…I hope.

Have you ever stopped to think about this though? We’re all dying. Each day that passes you are one day closer to death.

Wow, I feel like a complete morbid freak right now.

Now when you hear something like this, you can really only have one of two responses…

1. I’m totally depressed. Life is meaningless. I’m pathetic. I’m going to go live in a cave now.

2. Wow, if I’ve only got a limited amount of time left to live, I better make the most of it. I don’t want to waste another day. I want to truly live life.

I don’t know about you, but I’ll take option #2.

Life is short. I’m going to enjoy it and make the most of it. I want my life to matter.

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Justifying Mediocrity In Our Lives

Posted by Grant on November 11, 2009 – 7:20 am

Filed under Thinking Out Loud...

Well at least I’m not as bad as _______.
How many times have you said that?

It’s a common excuse we like to use to justify our decisions and the way we live life. We use the excuse to make ourselves feel better about how poorly we’re doing at something in life. Think about how we use this…

I don’t work as much as _______.

I don’t party as much as ______.

I’m not gone as much as ________.

My grades aren’t as bad as _______.

I’m not as overweight as _______.

My finances aren’t as bad as _________.

Any way you look at it, you’re settling for mediocrity in your life. You’re not doing as well as you could be but you’re better than someone else, so you end up just being stuck in the middle.

What area of your life are you justifying mediocrity in?

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Why Comparisons Are A Bad Idea

Posted by Grant on November 2, 2009 – 6:45 am

Filed under Thinking Out Loud...

It’s human nature to compare ourselves to others. We want to know how we stack up or how we rank.

Teenagers compare themselves to other teenagers. Clothes, grades, friends, status…it all figures in. Parents compare their kids to other peoples’ kids. Sales people want to know how their numbers rank against their co-workers or competitors.

I’m no different. I’m guilty of comparing myself to other speakers or young business people. I want to feel successful like anyone else. The problem though is that sometimes we turn to other’s success as a measuring stick for our own. But that’s not fair.

Comparing yourself to others is pointless. You may not have their bank account, their grades, their status, their looks, or whatever else you’re comparing yourself to.

But you do have yours. And that’s what’s important.

Be proud of who you are and stop cheapening your own life by comparing it to others.

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Gary Vaynerchuk VS Tim Ferriss

Posted by Grant on October 28, 2009 – 7:17 am

Filed under Books, Thinking Out Loud..., Time Management/Organization

I read a lot of books and two of my favorite business books are Crush It by Gary Vaynerchuk and The Four-Hour Work Week by Tim Ferriss. While they both talk about business and being successful, they also talk about (to steal a phrase from Tim Ferriss): “Lifestyle Design.” They talk about what you want your life to look like and shaping how you personally define success. But the interesting thing to me is these are two completely opposite books.

In The Four-Hour Work Week, Ferriss is advocating working less and enjoying life more (as the title might indicate). He’s not promoting laziness but rather stating that life is too short to work and work and work and fall over and die one day.

Crush It is just the opposite. Gary states multiple times that in order to crush it, you better expect to outwork your competition and do whatever you need to do to make your goals happen. For him, that means working 18 hour days everyday.

(On a side note, ironically, although these are polar opposites of one another, Tim Ferriss has an endorsement quote on the cover of Gary’s book Crush It!)

As I read each of these I found myself drawn to thoughts from both. I agree with Gary that success comes from hard work. Period! But I have no desire to work 18 hour days. I also agree with Tim that I would rather enjoy my life than just work constantly, but if I just worked four hours (although again, that’s not necessarily what he’s teaching), I would be bored and go crazy.

The point is that each one of us have to decide what success looks like for ourselves. For you it may be working 18 hours a day and being the best in the world at what you do. For you it may be traveling the world gathering experiences. For you it may be quality time with your friends, family, or significant other. For you it may be a big bank account or owning a fancy car. Everyone is different, but you have to define what success looks like for you.

For me…I love what I do. I love being my own boss. I love working hard and making things happen. I love having freedom and flexibility. And although you could argue that the more you work, the more you earn, I love my family more. I love my wife. I love my daughters. I love my life. So working 18 hours a day has zero appeal to me. But working 4 hours a week also does nothing for me. I have to find a healthy balance between doing what I love and am passionate about and also being committed to experiencing life with those I love most.

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More Knowledge Isn’t The Answer To Your Problems

Posted by Grant on October 16, 2009 – 6:00 am

Filed under Events, Speaking, Thinking Out Loud...

Yesterday, I attended a full-day motivational seminar that featured several big-name speakers. It was a fascinating environment to me. There was probably 10,000 people in the arena and the speakers did a good job creating a “go, fight, win” atmosphere for the audience (of course, a lot of it was “go, fight…buy my product and I’ll tell you how to win” but that’s a different post for a different day!).

Attending conferences are great shots in the arm and can provide wonderful motivational boosts. But I couldn’t get past a simple observation (not just with this event but even with the events I speak at)…

You can clap, cheer, and applaud the ideas presented and the person presenting them. You can take pages of notes and memorize fancy quotes (wow, that rhymed). You can get all the information and knowledge in the world BUT…

It doesn’t mean squat if you don’t do anything with it.

And truth be told most people in that arena won’t do anything different. I’ll tell you a little known secret about motivational speakers that we don’t want you to know: we can’t change your life. Speakers may be good at giving you the knowledge and the ideas, but only you can prevent forest fires. Wait, that’s not right…

You’re the person who has to be responsible to implement the changes. It’s never easy or pleasant, but it’s necessary.

I want your opinion on this…why is it so darn difficult to make personal changes even when we know it will make our lives better?

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Why Countless Options Leads To Indecision

Posted by Grant on October 13, 2009 – 7:00 am

Filed under Money & Finances, Thinking Out Loud...

I was reading this month’s issue of Money Magazine over the weekend and came across an article titled…

What To Do With $1,000 Now: Here Are 68 Of The Smartest Options.

SIXTY EIGHT OPTIONS?! Are you kidding me?!

Now I understand that they are in the business of just presenting people with the possibilities and allowing them to choose what’s best based on their individual circumstances. But who in their right mind wants 68 options to choose from? This was a great example of why most people end up doing nothing with their money except waste it. If I’ve got 68 options to choose from, then I’m probably going to take the path of least resistance which is to spend it on something I don’t need.

Who has the time to truly sit down and evaluate all 68 options to determine which one best suits their needs and situation? So what can we learn from this?

Don’t Allow Yourself Too Many Options – Limit the possibilities from the beginning. Whether you’re selecting a college, where to go for vacation, or what to have for dinner, don’t allow yourself to have 68 options! Keep it to just a few and you’ll be more likely to make a better decision.

Don’t Over-Think Things – Once you’ve got your initial list of just a few options, there’s nothing wrong with taking the time to analyze your options. Make a list of the pros and cons of each. Compare apples to apples. How is (A) better than (B)? Keep in mind though that not all decision require this much thinking. If I’m picking a vacation destination, I’ll definitely think through my options but if I’m deciding what to eat for lunch, you won’t find me making a pros and cons list!

Make The Decision – Don’t put off the decision. Once you’ve determined what the best course of action is…DO IT! So often people are guilty of talking about doing something different but not actually doing it. If you just talk about it but you don’t actually take action, you’re wasting your time.

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Lessons Learned From A Flat Tire

Posted by Grant on October 9, 2009 – 7:05 am

Filed under Events, Thinking Out Loud...

Yesterday morning I left the house and began a 2-hour drive to an event I was speaking at. About 30 minutes into it, my car received the blessing of a flat tire.

Awesome.

Any speaker will tell you that one of their biggest fears is missing an engagement. I’m no different. So I pulled over and my first thought was…

“I hope I can change a tire.”

“PANIC…OMG…I’M NEVER GOING TO MAKE IT. WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE!”

“This is going make a great story!”

I changed the tire, got back on the road, drove about 10 miles and pulled into a little hole-in-the-wall tire shop. They put two new tires on the front and I was back on the road in less than 10 minutes. I got to the event location, set my bag down, and walked right on stage to begin. It all worked out just fine.

And as I was driving back, I was reminded of some simple lessons from the experience…

Control What You Can, But Don’t Panic About What You Can’t Control – Flat tires happen. That’s life. There was no sense in freaking out and falling apart. I just got out of the car, changed the tire, and got going again.

Your Attitude Will Make Or Break A Situation – Is the glass half-full or half-empty? Everybody handles “crisis” differently but your attitude and perception of that situation can make things a lot better or a lot worse.

An Emergency Fund Makes “Emergencies” Feel More Like Inconveniences – I talked recently about another car issue and how thankful I was to have our emergency fund. When I had to spend $155 on tires, it wasn’t ideal, but it wasn’t a crisis. Why? Because we have an emergency fund for situations such as this. It’s a lot less stressful when you’re prepared for the emergency before it happens.

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“Get Rich Quick” Is As Real As Unicorns

Posted by Grant on October 1, 2009 – 6:00 am

Filed under Money & Finances, Thinking Out Loud...

When I travel, I try to find little hole-in-the-wall local places to eat at. Sometimes that is a very wise decision (for the food is pure decliciousness), and other times…not so much.

I had lunch in this little local restaurant in a small town in Kansas and found myself eavesdropping on the conversation between the waitress and two of her other tables. They were discussing what the lottery was up to and what they were going to do with the money when they won. I gathered they all already had tickets and were planning on buying more today before they announce the winner later on.

I thought about turning around and telling them, “You guys are dumb.”

But I decided not to for fear that grandma might beat me with her walker. Of course they would argue what most lotto participants would say: “Somebody’s got to win…it may as well be me.” Sure, that may be true (I decided against explaining to them that their odds are better to get struck by lightning twice and get swallowed by a whale…in Kansas), but what bothered me was their attitude towards the lotto.

To them, it was their ticket to freedom. It was their one-way pass out of their current mediocrity and into a “better” life. It was as if they were helpless in their situation and the only thing that could rescue them was winning the lottery. Winning the lotto may be a shortcut to a “better” life for some, but here’s a news flash…

You’re Not Going To Win. You’re Not Going To Get Rich Quick. Regis And Howie Aren’t Offering You Suitcases Full Of Money.

But tell you what…instead of just breaking your heart with this fact, let me at least give you some hope. You know how you can get rich and get out of your boring existence?

Hard work. Set goals. Think of what could be rather than what is. Don’t give up. Stop settling.

These aren’t just cliche motivational phrases. When you realize that there are no shortcuts and you start to take ownership for your own life, things will start to improve.

Until then…keep buying lottery tickets.

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You Don’t Have To Be An Expert To _________

Posted by Grant on September 30, 2009 – 1:21 pm

Filed under Thinking Out Loud...

There are a lot of areas in life we wish we could do better at, but we don’t because we don’t think we know enough about it.

Think about it with two of the biggest areas of challenge for people: health and money.

I don’t really know what I should and shouldn’t be eating, so I’ll just eat whatever. I know I should work out, but am not really sure what i should be doing, so I just won’t bother.

I know I should handle my money better, but I don’t know enough about it. I probably should be saving for college, but I don’t know where to put it, so oh well.

It’s easy to make excuses because of what we don’t know rather than taking action on what we do know.

Do you need to be a money expert to know that credit card debt is a bad thing? Do you need to be a financial wizard to know that spending more than you make isn’t the wisest move?

Do you need a personal trainer to tell you that you need regular exercise? Do you have to be a health nut to know you should eat less junk food?

The point is that sometimes we use what we don’t know as an excuse. Instead start with what you do know and take responsibility to learn what else you need to know.

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Why You Shouldn’t Be Afraid To Quit

Posted by Grant on September 22, 2009 – 6:37 am

Filed under Thinking Out Loud...

Most of us have been raised to believe that quitting is for losers. We equate quitting with failure.

But the fact is, that’s just not true.

Sure, quitting and giving up because you’re lazy is one thing. But quitting the wrong thing for the right reasons is something completely different.

What if you’re in a job you completely hate? What if you’re in a relationship that you know isn’t healthy? What if your business is always losing money?

What should you do?

QUIT!

Don’t misunderstand me here. I’m all for perseverance and sticking it out and there are some things you should do that with. Anytime you’ve made a commitment to someone, you should stick to it. Your word and your integrity are invaluable.

But there are other times in life where we’re trying to stick a square peg in a round hole, and it’s just not going to work.

The reason I bring this up is I’ve been working on a project for the last several months that isn’t taking off like we’d like it to. We’re not seeing as much promise as we thought we would. So is it worth it to keep dumping money into something that’s not getting us anywhere? Or would it be wiser to pull the plug, call an audible, and go in a different direction?

If you’ve tried and you’ve truly given it your best, then you shouldn’t feel bad about quitting. It doesn’t require anything to keep doing what you’ve been doing, but it does require courage to quit something you know you should.

What is it that you need to quit?

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